


The Darkest Of Marks

by SunshineA



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Iron Man 3 plot alternation, M/M, a little tiny bit, just a bit, the aftermath of Battle of New York
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-05
Updated: 2013-11-05
Packaged: 2017-12-31 14:37:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1032831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SunshineA/pseuds/SunshineA
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They sleep together. But there are the nightmares and Loki wants to know what makes Tony so uneasy and scared. And finally, one night, he gets his answer.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Darkest Of Marks

**Author's Note:**

> For a prompt from anonymous on tumblr.
> 
> Dear Nonny, I so SO apologize it took me so long. I hope you'll forgive me and enjoy this little bribe/your request. Let me know, okay? xx

He was in New York again. He was back on the streets, his suit on, red lights making the HUD look like it was painted with blood. His face was covered in it, he was almost sure of that, even if he didn’t feel a thing on his skin, not even a speck of dust. He just _knew_ he was covered in blood from head to toes, and he only wanted to know if this was his blood.

He looked around anxiously, his heart beating hard against his chest, and he was sure that if it was possible, his skin would be badly bruised from it. All he saw was bright blue sky and water underneath him. and that’s when he realized he was flying as fast as the power in the suit let him.

_Oh my God. It’s the Battle._

He could feel his arms raised up behind his back, holding the nuke that was meant to kill everyone on the island of Manhattan. He knew what he needed to do, and he would repeat that again and again if he had to.

He flew up to his Tower and up the beam of blue light, even brighter than the sky. He could hear JARVIS talking about Pepper, and he agreed on everything, but all he could think about in that moment was Loki. He was flying to finally die – so unlike what the Captain suspected of him – and he was thinking about the fucking lunatic that had brought this down on them and that he wouldn’t see him punished for everything.

But suddenly he felt a surge of sympathy for the god, his chest almost aching from it. There was no way he could find out why his body was reacting like that because he had already passed the portal. He took in one last breath, the lights in the HUD and JARVIS’s fading voice telling him he was out of air. That’s when he let the nuke fly further up, right towards the biggest ships he had seen in life. SHIELD’s hellicarier was nothing in comparison to these.

He could feel his heart beating faster from the sheer fear of seeing something like that and knowing that even his own technology wouldn’t be able to help much. He closed his eyes slowly, swallowed by the surrounding darkness and one last thought in his mind.

_That fucking lunatic—_

Tony’s eyes flew open and he swung his fisted hand at the person that was now gripping his arm. He turned in the bed immediately, feeling as his fist hit their jaw and made them gasp, though it sounded like it was more in surprise than pain. Next thing he saw was his MARK XLII being blown away from his attacker. The suit hit the wall with a loud bang and its pieces fell down, scattering all over the floor.

“Anthony, what is going on?” came the worried, quiet voice, one that was more familiar than Tony would suspect it to be.

And then it hit him that it was long after the Battle of New York. That he was safe in his Malibu Mansion and “the fucking lunatic” wasn’t a threat to him anymore.

Tony turned his eyes from where he could see the pieces of his suit laying motionless, and he took in a sharp breath when he saw no one other than Loki himself, sitting on the bed with a red mark on his chin and lower part of his body hidden under the satin black sheets.

Tony knew – remembered what had happened in between, how it had come to this. He remembered how Loki had landed in his bed, probably – no, for sure – very naked.

“It’s nothing,” he muttered and looked away, trying to avoid the pained and surprised expression on the god’s face. “Just a bad dream.”

Loki could see right through him. He knew it wasn’t “just a bad dream”. Tony had woken up like that many times during their nights together and no matter how many times he was asked about it, he refused to answer. Just like now. It’s not like they trusted each other, but lately the man constantly wanted Loki to sleep with him after their heated sex. That had to mean something for both, but it looked like it was something lesser for Tony than it was for the god.

“Anthony, please,” Loki tried, reaching out to hold his hand, but he was pushed away without a blink on Tony’s side. It hurt; he didn’t know it would hurt that much, but he decided he wouldn’t give up. Not this time. “Anthony, tell me what causes all the nightmares. It’s not nothing to me.”

“Why do you even care?” Tony shot back, making Loki wince. “We fuck; we’re not in a freaking relationship. You shouldn’t even be here anymore.”

It felt like a slap in the face. It hurt more than the hit he had received not such a long time ago from the man in front of him, who had just clearly stated how he felt about the god in his bed. Loki could easily say he felt pathetic. He was familiar with the feeling of being used, but he never committed emotionally in any of these partnerships, mostly because it never happened more than two, three times. He thought that with Tony it would look the same, but he would be the one using someone now. That’s why he kept coming back at the beginning. But then everything changed and he didn’t even notice when he began to long for another night, another hour with the man.

The man that now sat with his back turned to Loki and waiting for the god to leave.

Loki’s wince deepened, and he did his best to hide it as he stood up from the bed and started gathering his clothes. He then snapped his fingers and everything was on him in the blink of an eye. Only then did he look at Tony again, full of hope that maybe he would change his mind, but nothing like that happened. The man didn’t move even an inch.

Loki was by the window and was about to open it when he heard the voice he found the dearest to him. It was the words that struck him, though, making his heart beat achingly in his chest. It wasn’t a good kind of pain. Oh, no.

“It’s you. You are causing the nightmares,” reached his ears and he did his best, tried his best not to show how painful it was to hear that, because it wasn’t about him right now – it was about Tony. It was about the fact that Loki was the reason for him to wake up at night, covered in cold sweat, his heart beating fast and pupils widened from fear.

Loki stayed by the window, staring at the starry night sky and debating if it was better for him to leave or not. He knew he just couldn’t leave Tony like that again, not when he had finally decided to talk about his obviously biggest fear. The god couldn’t even explain to himself how much that knowledge made his heart ache, but he tried to push it away as he turned around and looked at Tony.

He was still on the bed, his feet on the cold floor, legs spread wide and elbows resting on his knees. His hips were covered by the black sheets, the rest of them laying in a messy pile on the mattress. His face was hidden in his hands, and it was more than obvious he refused to look at Loki. And Loki really couldn’t blame him for that.

The god patiently waited for Tony to continue, his heartbeat not slowing down even for a moment, and he was starting to think Tony just kept quiet in hopes Loki would leave soon enough. He was about to make another turn and do just that when the man twitched a little and let his hands fall down, fingers of both hands twined in the air in between his knees.

“You have no idea what that fly up through the portal did to me,” he muttered, looking down at the floor. “No one knows. God, it’s so hard…”

Loki wanted to say something, do anything to let Tony know it was okay for him to feel like this. Loki himself still couldn’t get over his fall, the nightmares still invading his mind in his sleep. He understood way all too well how it had to have felt, and so he didn’t do a single thing, didn’t say a word. He just kept standing by the window, a cool wind falling into the room through it.

“I’ve never talked about this, not with anyone. I couldn’t— It was too hard. But the nightmares won’t leave and it’s getting worse and worse and even work doesn’t help. Not even you help me anymore, and you did for a long time,” Tony winced and shook his head, hands tightening into fists the next second. “I still can’t believe how you managed to keep yourself away from my dreams.

“You see, “he started and finally turned to face Loki, his face twisted in pain and anger, “if it wasn’t for you, none of this would happen. There would be no Battle, no nightmares, I would still have Pepper by my side. It’s all your fault and yet—“ he cut himself off, swallowing hard. The wince disappeared, replaced with the feeling Loki knew all too much, and it made his heart ache even more. The self-loathing in the brown eyes he loved so much… It was almost too much for him. “I _can’t_ bring myself to hate you for that. For any of it.”

Loki really had no idea what he could do now. It would be easier to hear that Tony hated him and didn’t want to see him again. It would be so much easier to just walk away, when he was sure he wasn’t wanted. He had heard that too many times in his life, he would cope. But this? What he was supposed to do with information like this? Did this mean Tony felt something for him? _What did it mean?_

“Can you— come here?” Tony asked and without thinking about it, Loki obeyed. He took the few steps that separated him from the mortal and he sat down on the bed right next to him. Nothing happened for a long moment before Tony grabbed the god’s hand and twined their fingers together, his moves slow and gentle. “I don’t want you to leave, I’m sorry.”

“But—“ Loki swallowed hard and looked at him, his green eyes wide in fear and pain. “I bring the nightmares. You’re suffering because of me. I couldn’t—“

“You could. You can and you will,” Tony cut him off , and their gazes met, the man’s brown eyes now filled with something Loki couldn’t really name. But it felt good to see it there. “You’re the first person I have told this to, everyone keep saying that talking about this stuff helps. I wanna see if it really does.”

Loki shook his head even before the last words left Tony’s lips, and even though his whole body screamed for him to stay with his mortal, he really couldn’t.

“Anthony,” he reached out with his free hand and stroked his cheek, surprised how quick Tony leaned into the touch. It almost made him change his mind. “I need to leave.”

“No,” was the harsh response, but Loki gathered all of his will to not look at the man anymore. He stood up, letting go of the warm hand and made his way towards the open window, determined to leave. He couldn’t stay here knowing Tony suffered because of him; he was already feeling guilty. “You _can’t_ leave like that!”

A moment later he felt a strong grip on his arm, and he was turned around, a warm body pressing into him a moment later. What he saw in the brown eyes didn’t make him feel any better, but he was more than sure that he needed to leave. He had to do that so Tony could be happy again and live without the nightmares.

“Anthony, please—“

“Just shut up, Loki,” Tony growled, and his grip tightened around Loki’s arm. “You are not leaving me like this. Not after what I said.”

“But that is precisely why I should leave,” Loki muttered in response, jaw tensing when he felt his throat tightening. “So you can get better.”

“It doesn’t work like that with me.”

The god frowned at him and shook his head, pushing Tony gently away from him, slender fingers wrapping around the warm wrist and pulling the hand away slowly. “You’ll be better without me, you know that,” he said quietly, unable to stop a wince from twisting his face.

“Balls,” Tony shook his head and took a hold of Loki’s arms once again, which only earned him a weary sigh from the god. “You are staying. I want you to. You’re the only person that cared enough to ask what’s wrong. Don’t think I’ll let you go like that.”

That was hard to believe. Tony – as opposed to Loki – had so many people surrounding him; he had friends, who cared for him. Loki couldn’t believe when he heard no one cared enough to ask when they saw there was something wrong. They _had_ to see that, because even if Loki was good at reading people in a matter of seconds, it wasn’t all that hard to see in how much pain and fear Tony lived every day. His eyes always betrayed him.

“I—“ Loki looked at Tony for a long moment, unable to look anywhere else. How could he say no to him? “Very well. If you really want me to.”

Tony’s face lit up almost immediately, and he started stripping Loki down from all of his clothes until they were both naked again. Only then did Tony take his hand and pull him towards the bed, pushing the god gently onto the mattress before he climbed up next to him.

Next that Loki knew, they were wrapped in the satin covers, his arms wrapped around Tony who obviously wanted to snuggle as close to him as possible. He had to smile at that, and he kissed the man’s temple, hands brushing soothingly over his back.

“Shh, my little mortal,” he cooed quietly into Tony’s ear. “It’s all okay now.”

He could feel the man smile against the skin on his neck and he just embraced him a little tighter, giving him a soft pecks from time to time and whispering sweet nothings until he fell asleep.

Tony didn’t have a nightmare this time.


End file.
